High & Dry

Guys/Gals,

What are you actually doing at your homes/rooms? Am kinda stinking with tweets and updates like as if am born to do this. Meaning less tweets. Emotion less quotes. Where the fuck is this going?

Let me take a wild guess. OK! More than one guess, but this is the most probable common routine we must be going through.

Sit down at computer. Think you'll be productive at least this time. And after 30mins, you checked your mail more than thrice, updated Facebook status and tweeted some crap.

That doesn't stop there. You decided to be productive remember?

So, you will look up your favorite brand ( gadgets/bands/apparels/that kinda stuff), vanity google some arbitrary garbage. BTW, How many of you googled your name? Do that. Will be fun.

And now comes the interesting part. Stalking.

Biggest advantage of Social Networking. You follow all your Upload-happy friends' content, stalk your ex-gf/bf, check the photos uploaded by your high-school crushes. Yeah and you have The Zynga. Doesn't ring any bells? Well, read Cafe World, Farmville, Petville, Fishville and MyAssVille!

The Social-Web interactions give you the high that is unparalleled.

Waiting in anticipation for comments on that photo you just uploaded, or flirting someone publicly. And leaves you dry when you become spectator to the endless Wall-posts/Scraps between your ex and her new found buddy. More so if that buddy is your buddy. There is no going back. Period.

So, there you go. Deeply involved in a world where Real and Virtual merge so well that it's hard to differentiate. More on that later.

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Once more?

Am jotting down when it is still fresh in memory. My memory. So, all expressions and observations are subjective. Writing about the day w/o mentioning names is kinda letdown to the whole point of writing this piece.

First impressions:

Earlier the day, when people were slowly arriving at the bar, the game already had begun. Boys took east. Girls went west. And I thought Tug O' War would be the best game to play. The mood was upbeat all over but many in both camps were thinking whether to mix with the other or just forget it. I thought this will be just another RFC or Banglore trip kinda where in people really loved to be in their comfortable zones.

I was wrong. Ok, not totally!

Rose & Roses:

This became kinda tradition in our coll. The idea was simple. Guys were given 2 Red roses. Girls were given 2 Yellow roses. One has to pick two from the opposite sex as his/her choice.

What's complex is playing with the data: Why certain X chose Y? Even more complex if X is a girl.

In freshers' Party, most of the girls chose a dude who they considered safe. No strings attached.

Come to farewell, their intentions were written all over their face. Only change was that this time, our dude was neglected. Not that he is no more safe. They chose boys closer with respect to their number on the roll list. That's not improbable as those boys would be the ones they had spent a lot of time. What's surprising is the precision with which they obeyed this rule. I correctly guessed more than 10 rose pairs and that is no fluke. Believe me, reading brains is too much fun.

Dance Dance Revo:

Everyone danced. Period.

The tracks played were not that great. But all of them had this 1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4 loop. That is enough to cut loose.

Earlier today, Upesh asked me to show some moves. I did. Later, on the dance floor, he was dancing like there's no tomorrow. And none of the steps were from what I had shown him earlier. Awesome.

There was too much stuff happening all around to observe and I have to dance too. So, I , for once, joined them.

Mr, M(r)s, Na-Reals:

Very interesting idea. No doubt about it. But, very poorly executed. Lots of time wasted in distribution and collection of chits bearing nominee list.

I don't know who'd come up with that "cutting-edge" idea to mark the selection, but that was cool and spot-on.

P.S:

Farewells aren't meant to celebrate more than once. But thats exactly what/how I felt.

Once more?

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F'ing post

Fuck! F*ck! Fu*k!


This is the most common curse word. When I first got acquainted with it, in its verb form, I was scared to use it. Fast forward to 'NOW', thanks to Hollywood, F is everywhere. Not just as a verb. I made it part of my dictum without giving a fuck to the possible ramifications ;).I, for the first time, recently thought about the reason why it is so addictive. May be the adrenaline rush people get by screaming, " Fucking amazing! ", instead of boring " It's amazing " provides the instant gratification! It adds intensity to the juxtaposed cause which , in this case, is being amazed.

I don't have to look anywhere to appreciate the flammability of the Fuck. Sometime around 2-2( semester ), almost everyone in my class started showing middle finger to anything that fits the bill. It's not an exaggeration when I say that you have to let your hand devoid of holding anything before meeting someone as most conversations would end with showing middle fingers and yelling " fuck off "!

Now at the end of B.Tech, when I thought about the possible changes am about to undergo, one of my friends suggested there would be no curse words as there would be no friends( ok! not really! ) to fucking use them with! I said, " No fucking way! ". The F charm is too powerful to RIP.

Then he asked me to imagine a possible incident, in future, which can make any guy abandon the F. What? Is it really about finding such a possible case? Or is he taking great pains to prove me incapable of conjuring such an incident?

I made-up this scenario so that he can shut his fucking mouth.

"One fine day! This Guy bought a phone from a fruit company. He is very excited and bought tons of applications to run on it. He becomes so much addicted to apps that he starts writing his own apps. One such app that made him rich overnight is the one that combines advance voice recognition capabilities with Social networking! With riches comes his first Girlfriend( #First ). And then his second( #Second ). Being a geek, he couldnt play the playboy game. Just like a bug in his code, FIRST starts popping out when he is with SECOND and visa-versa much to his contempt.

On one not-so-fine day, while he is on his way out of McD, a stranger bumps into him and the phone falls down.
His phone. Phone that he loves so much and that brought all the fortune.
Falls down!
Falls fucking down!
He yells, " Fuck you! "

Then I stopped.
I started collecting my bag and things preparing for an exit.
What a fucking scene it was! He must have felt like being left after foreplay.
He begged me to continue. I did.

"Phone identifies his voice, analyses the " Meaning " of said words. Checks for his contacts @ Phone, Friends @ Facebook, Followers @ Twitter and analyses his previous conversations with all of them to decide who is the most probable recipient of the message it received. It founds both FIRST and SECOND and forwards the message " Fuck you "

Only hole is that it cant forward the emotion involved. Only plain words.
All this happens w/o his knowledge and by that night he learns it the hard way! "

I finished and left the Resulting catastrophe to his imagination.


P.S:
There is no he.

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Student, Master and Chaos

When the student is ready, the master appears. ~Buddhist Proverb.

OK!

I get the implied meaning and it didn't take me more than the time I took to read the quote to agree with whoever that put it in such a succinct way.

To paraphrase it:

Knowledge we sought rarely arrives before we are able to absorb it – and if it did, it reappears again later so we could appreciate it with the right perspective.

In a way, ambitiously though, this tries to answer every predicament we put ourselves in.

But on second reading, I couldn't stop myself wondering what happens if there is no master? What would happen to the student? Should he be waiting for the master? What if the master is only an illusion to get you, at the end of the day, pissed off?

Let me, for the argument's sake, consider ' How to get that girl to date? ' be the knowledge the student is seeking so desperately. Then, for the master to appear, he must be ready. Ready to absorb whatever gyan he's gonna get! Only problem is the poor chap couldn't know when he's ready!

To get a girl, biological and physical hurdles aside, how can he know if there is something more to learn for the master to appear or something he has been doing wrong all the time? I mean, what's the yardstick? I say, there ain't any yardsticks. Nothing. Zilch.

Not just in this case. This quote, in the present form, can never be of any worth. Things can't be changed, by knowing that master gonna appear sometime, in anticipation. It may help to console yourself about things happened, you know, in introspection.

P.S:

Here in this particular case, the master is the knowledge. Confusing, eh?

The girl is the master and the knowledge.

How?

Food for thought!

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FB2 ---- Vagabond: Smitten and Bitten

Second year in a glimpse: 'Internet, Movies, Apple-- The Beginning '

Here cometh the Internet.

Yes, I used net before.

Yes, that's right. That's what I used it for.

No, I didn't stop.

Spell bound by the charms of Social Networking, I spent most of the evenings "HI'ing" and "SSUP'ing". Met new people online and was thrilled by the extent and depth of conversations possible between two complete strangers. Joining a community in Orkut and entering a debate gave that much needed rush in otherwise stale college life. New friends were always made. Old ones, after few quick enthusiastic exchanges, were forgotten. In a way, that's also happens in real life. Isn't it?New always replaces the Old. Otherwise, how can one learn anything? Before I drift away too much, I meant to say that this phase provided the basis in understanding relationships.

Coming back to physical world, there were two incidents, rather accidents, that, in hindsight, had a profound influence on me. Am not going into the details. But, for reference, I like to code them as #Black and #White.

Movies:

' Which is first: The Chicken or the Egg?' case here between Movies & DVDrips.

One thing is certain. I was bitten. By the Movie bug. More into that later in the series.

Apple:

As if it's not enough, at the end of second year, I was smitten by a fruit. Apple. Anything I write about the Cult of Apple and its influence on me can only be undermined by the reality. I will save that rant for future.

P.S:

I didn't go in-depth in any one of them as it was just beginning-An Inception.

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FB1 ---- Freaking Loop

Now that my Engineering is nearing its term, I found this sudden urge to look back and and dwell upon things happened. So, from today, FlashBack ( FB ) series starts!

One year into engineering, I realized that I was being programmed. Conditioned. To do what? No one told me. See! That was the case. I was looking for someone to help me. Someone to tell me what am gonna do in future. I wasn't doing anything on my own except, you know, mugging.

The formula was always clear:

Mugging gives me marks.

Marks give me that 'kick' of being a topper.

Being a topper makes me never want to lose.

And that means more mugging!

One freaking loop.

Now that's the Programming I was talking about!

By the time the loop broke, I was desperate. Desperate to see everything that's there to be seen. I felt like a crouching tiger waiting fervently for that hidden dragon.

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1 DUDE, 1 Chick and 2 FBIs

Conversation between two FBI police officers and a DUDE.

Dude and Chick going in a car on highway.

Police stops the car and this conversation follows..

FBI 1:Sir, get out of the car.

DUDE: what?

FBI 1: It's FBI. Get out of the car. NOW!

DUDE: (to Chick) Baby lets get out. We have dicks to deal with.

FBI 1: Where's your license plate sir?

DUDE: Isn't it there? Oh my! it isn't there!

FBI 1: Why isn't it there sir?

DUDE: Why? Fuck you, thats why!

FBI 1: Sir..

DUDE: Dont "sir" me you dick. Now what? Arrest me? I don't give a damn! Go on you crap!

FBI 1:Before that we want the reason, sir. where is the license plate?

DUDE: There is no reason for the gods sake! Arrest me and get your fucking bounty! Jesus! (to Chick) Baby, GO home NOW! Call me when your gone home.

[FBI 2 steps ahead and shouts..]

FBI 2: Now stop the fucking drama. We "sir" you 'coz we fucking have to. If it's not for the badge, I would have cut your balls and hang them instead of your license plate. Enough of this shit.

(to Chick) No one 's going home.

(to DUDE) And you, you are coming with me and give your fucking reason.

DUDE: Reason? I told you, there is no reason! Jesus, not to have a reason, is it so hard to believe?

FBI 1: How can there be no reason? there's gotta be a reason for everything.

DUDE: Welcome to the "catch-up" world! There are no reasons here!

FBI 2: Enough!

(to FBI 1) As I said, this we have here is a tough guy. In all probability I believe we have a situation here.

[FBI 2 pulls his gun, points DUDE at his temple]

FBI 2: Tell the reason buddy, and be careful! Your words can very much be your last!

DUDE: There's no...

FBI 2: One more " no", your done with your chick and this "catching-up" world of yours!

DUDE: Ow, ow, ow! You win! Only one thing to tell but that doesn't answer you in anyway. I mean, am.. am not responsible for the car not having the plate.

FBI 2: I told you to be fucking careful. These can be..

DUDE: I know, I know. Wait, listen. Shit! I dont know about the fucking plate 'coz the fucking car is not mine. Oh god, I thought I got it! Almost got it, fuck!

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